Introduction

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. It's a roll of the dice to fire roast a whole chicken whilst wearing an alpaca leotard.

Democratic Discontent

The Democrats really are trying to shake the political Zen out of me, aren't they? I have deep reserves of most kinds of self control, so I won't let them succeed. I can loathe everything that they are doing without throwing anyone through a window. That's actually one of the daily affirmations I have on a Post-It Note over my desk.

Entertainment in Chaos

Also, as I have mentioned on more than one occasion, watching them flail about like drunken chimps at a feces-flinging festival can be mildly entertaining. From a distance, of course.

JB Pritzker: The Potential Savior?

In almost every way-too-early prognostication piece about potential saviors of the Democratic party in the 2028 presidential election, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker is mentioned for reasons that are mostly difficult to fathom. A cursory glance at the driverless clown car of congressional Democrats makes it easy to understand why they would cast their eyes about for a governor, but Pritzker doesn't seem to be the most dynamic of choices. His only real claim to political fame is that he's never been incarcerated, which is practically a right of passage for Illinois politicians.

Pritzker's Public Image

Doughy Gov. Poppin' Fresh is taking some of the minor hype around him and trying to position himself as one of the tough guys in the Democrats' sad "Resist" tantrum. This is from my Townhall colleague Rebecca Downs: "Never before in my life have I called for mass protests, for mobilization, for disruption," Pritzer began by saying, as if that were some sort of defense. "But I am now," he continued, which was met with wild applause and even cheers of "YEAH" from the audience. "These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace," Pritzker continued, his voice raised to speak over the applause that was still going on. "They have to understand that we will fight their cruelty with every megaphone and microphone that we have! We must castigate them on the soapbox, and then punish them at the ballot box," he said, to still more applause.

The Reality Check

Nowhere in the clip, which was shared by CNN's Edward-Isaac Dovere, does Pritzker remind the audience to be peaceful. It's a safe bet that Pritzker won't be mobilizing himself -- the dude is one Chicago Italian beef sandwich away from exploding like Mr. Creosote in "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life." Yeah, I'm doing fat digs here because Pritzker's bad*** shtick is in desperate need of a reality check. He's a privileged rich boy from the family that owns the Hyatt Hotels who fancies himself a champion of poor minorities. This is a variation on the theme of every prominent white Democrat's résumé.